Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
It’s your stupidity.
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I was born intelligent –
education ruined me.
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Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
so why practice?
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If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
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Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.
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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
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“Your future depends on your dreams”
So go to sleep
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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
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“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk
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“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours
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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
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A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
what more can I say……..

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

Murphys law on girls

This is how you catch swine flu.

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Zoozoo: The new brand ‘endorser’ for Vodafone
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Most romantic and least romantic lines.

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, what’s on TV?’
I said, Dust.’
And then the fight started…

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…
So, I took her to a gas station..
And then the fight started…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, do you know him?’
Yes,’ She sighed, He’s my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.’
My God!’ I said to my wife, Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started…
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What goes through your mind when someone says “Lets go for a drink”?
This is good …… See how easy the men have it!!
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